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Sometimes, Jay Spring is convinced he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his grandiose moments frequently escalate into “really delusional”, he explains. “You are on cloud nine and you think, ‘People will see that I surpass everyone else … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

In his case, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are usually coming after a “sudden low”, a period when he feels deeply emotional and ashamed about his behavior, making him highly sensitive to negative feedback from others. He began to think he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after looking up his traits online – and was later evaluated by a clinician. But, he questions he would have agreed with the assessment if he hadn’t already reached that understanding personally. “If you try to tell somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – particularly if they experience a sense of being better. “They’re in a delusional world that they made for themselves. And within that framework, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining The Condition

While people have been called narcissists for over 100 years, it’s not always clear what is meant by the label. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” explains a psychology professor, who believes the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he believes many people keep it private, due to widespread prejudice around the condition. Someone with NPD will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to bolster one’s self-esteem through actions such as seeking admiration,” the specialist says. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in The Disorder

Although up to 75% of people found to have NPD are males, findings indicates this figure does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that female narcissism is more often presented in the covert form, which is under-identified. “Men’s narcissism tends to be somewhat tolerated, as with everything in society,” says a young adult who discusses her co-occurring conditions on online channels. It is not uncommon, the two disorders appear together.

First-Hand Experiences

“I really struggle with handling criticism and not being accepted,” she says, since when I’m told that I am at fault, I tend to switch to self-protection or I become unresponsive.” Although experiencing this response – which is known as “narcissistic injury”, she has been trying to overcome it and take advice from her close relationships, as she doesn’t want to slip into the negative conduct of her earlier years. My past relationships were toxic to my partners as a teenager,” she admits. With professional help, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she notes she and her significant other “operate with an understanding where I’ve instructed him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, when I use toxic language, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing mostly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of healthy examples in her youth. “I’ve been learning all this time which behaviors are and is not appropriate to say in conflicts because I never had that in my formative years,” she says. Every insult was fair game when my family members were belittling me in my early years.”

Root Causes of Narcissistic Traits

Personality disorders tend to be linked to early life adversity. Genetics play a role,” says a mental health specialist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “connected with that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he states, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting certain expectations. They then “rely on those same mechanisms as adults”.

Similar to other of the those diagnosed, one individual thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The adult shares when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve high marks and life achievements, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “worthy.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships lasted. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he says. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of loving someone, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, like him, has difficulty with emotional regulation. She is “really understanding of the internal struggles in my head”, he explains – it was actually she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Subsequent to a consultation to his general practitioner, an assessment was arranged to a clinical psychologist for an evaluation and was given the NPD label. He has been recommended for psychological counseling on the public health system (a long period of therapy is the main intervention that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the waiting list for an extended period: The estimate was it is likely to occur maybe February or March next year.”

He has shared with a few individuals about his condition, because “there’s a big stigma that all narcissists are abusers”, but, personally, he has accepted it. This understanding allows me to comprehend my actions, which is beneficial,” he comments. Each individual have come to terms with NPD and are pursuing treatment for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the disorder. But the existence of online advocates and the rise of digital groups suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number